Well, I survived Camon's first day. There were no tears - on Camon's face, that is. He was so big. On the other hand, I was the ONLY mother standing in the classroom who was unable to control the tears. It all started when I cried myself to sleep last night thinking about my baby boy. I kept thinking that it can not be almost 6 years since he was born... But, it has been and now he is a big Kindergartner!!!! This morning he got ready without complaints. We took a few pictures of him and loaded his backpack with school supplies. As we were loading it, I gave him his folders and he said," Oh no! I know what this means. Homework! I hate homework!". I have a feeling that this is going to be a long 13 years for him, considering that he has never had homework, yet already hates it. I explained that he would get out of school at 3:00 which is earlier than he has been getting out of preschool, 5:00. That excited him. He told me, "I will be counting the hours. One, Two, Three.". I did not bother to explain to him that there would be 8,9,10,11, and 12 before he even got to 1. The ride to school went smoothly. He seemed excited. Then we got to school and found out where his classroom was. As we were walking to the class holding hands and Dad following close behind, he looked up at me and said, "I'm nervous." "Why?" I asked. He said, " I always get nervous when I am around people that I do not know." There came the tears, my tears. I could not help but think about all of the people that would now be in his world, that I probably will not ever know. The teachers, students, lunch workers, principal, secretary, and the list goes on. Don't get me wrong, I intend to be very involved at the school, but on a daily basis he will come into contact with a lot of people that will have a lot of influence. I only pray that they are Christian influences. I stopped, wiped my tears and continued on to the classroom. As soon as the door opened and I saw his teacher, I cried again. Camon asked me why I was crying and all I could say was, "Because, I love you so much!" He went in, found his cubbie, hung his backpack, and found a seat at the table to play with the blocks. I kissed him, his daddy kissed him, and then we walked out. He never cried, hallelujah! I just hope that tomorrow, mommy can be BIG! As I drove away, I began to think about how I wished that he would never grow up. Never tire of our kisses, never want to move out of our house, and always think that we know what is best for him. But then I began to pray and soon realized that he is not MINE to Keep! He belongs to a Heavenly Father who gave him to me for a short while. If I "kept" him small, he may never be the man that God made him to be. There is a purpose for his life, and God knows what that is. I am just privileged enough to raise and teach him the way to go (or at least do my best to). And part of that is letting him grow up to become the person that God intends him to be. I can just leave it to God take care of him for me. There is no better guardian!!! So Kindergarten, here he is be gentle with him. He may be growing up, but he will always be my little baby!!!!
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